Naoto's Journal
by The New Mandalord
Summary: The Great Civil War has taken many lives. But how can you kill someone who already died? Read Naoto Kouzuki's journal and meet see what he saw, and find that not all Superpowers are like Britannia.
1. Chapter 1

**Naoto's Journal**

Mandalore, date unknown, year unknown: It finally happened; I'm the first person to find other forms of life in space. Now I feel like I can't escape. I'm more than of a prisoner but less than a civilian. The people here have different skin tone, but all have the same trait of blood red eyes. Sort of like my own. Even though I want to leave, another half of me feels like staying. Maybe do to my wounds, maybe it's because I'm not total scum for what they did to my head and want to pay them back, or maybe this is the place I belong. These Auto parts that they put in me are just simply astounding, astonishing, and amazing. Unless I touch it, it feels like my regular self. They even say that my hair is made out of strands on tight metal that acts reacts like real hair.

Mandalore, April 4th, 2340: Aaron has officially adopted me into his family, which seems to be the normal on this planet. In their "family" theirs Aaron, his eldest Levitas whom everyone seems to call Zaps, his youngest Anthony, and Aaron's only wife Lara-Su. She is a Morbian (In Mandalorian lingo "a copy cat human") Echidna. She has red fur and dreadlocks, violet eyes, pink hair with traces of purple and peach skin. She is considered to be the 'Angle of the Mandalorian', during the Mandalore civil war. And she is even known for using he own dreadlocks, that almost reach her feet, as a weapon. I'm not very good with the native language yet, but Aaron told me that it's a process called "aliit ori'shya tal'din" ("Family is more than bloodline"). This ceremony for adoption of a new Mandalorian was named "gai bal manda", which means literally "name and soul". For the Mandalorians, there is no difference between a biological child and an adopted one. Family to Mandalorians is one of the most important traits to them. If that's so, then why did he adopt me? For political gain? Or because he just likes collecting? He's no better then those damn Britannians.

Mandalore, July 20, 2340: Got my ass handed to me by Aaron in sword training today. He calls himself my "father", but he only acts fatherly outside of the ring. So to make myself stronger, I've decided to try assassination attempts on Aaron. I'm already up to fifty-five. For what I've been learning about their culture is just confusing. They're trained to fight since birth but also to separate those skills in times of peace. Another thing is their forms of marriage. They're ceremonies work like they do on earth. Minus the dressing up in a tuxedo and white dress. Instead both the bride and groom are dressed in their full battle armor. During the ceremony, both the bride and groom say the first part of their "Contract". "Mhi solus tome, mhi solus dar'tome, mhi me'dinui an, mhi ba'juri verde", Which, from what Lara told me "We are one whether we are together or apart, we will share everything and we will raise our children as warriors.". Now when they are married, it's for life. So finding the right mate could take many years, the male and female Mandalorians will begin the second part of "Contract" (meaning they go through intercourse like humans) to create an emotional bond that lasts a lifetime. This "Contract" is both highly erotic and profoundly spiritual, but does not in itself lead to reproduction. That is caused by the intercourse. To add to that they see polygamy as almost a sin. They figure family and marriage is a sacred bond and no one should overcome to greed and lust.

Mandalore, August 9th, 2340: After watching the people here, Aaron told me that Mandalorians didn't evolve from prime apes like humans. But instead they originally evolved from dogs. And it greatly shows in there work and loyalty to one another. From the moment they wake, they devote themselves to the perfection of whatever they pursue. Seeking ways to find equal balance in body, mind and spirit. They believe that sweat is weakness and sin exiting the body, so they spend long time in training or meditating in sweat lodges. Watching these people, I do not presume to understand the course of my life. If there is a nation that can beat the Britannians, then maybe these are them. Instead of the strong dominating over the weak, they believe that the strong should help the weak become strong. That's what makes them so deadly.

Mandalore, September 10th, 2340: I guess I was wrong about Aaron. That crap-king saved my life today from being eaten alive and all I could do was cry about. He told me that the reason why he saved my life wasn't because he felt like it was his job, but because I was his son. Damn idiot almost lost his arm in the process, but I guess that's what happens when you become a leader. Your own needs come second to the people.

Mandalore, date unknown, year unknown: Well that crap-king mind has finally snapped. Know I can't blame him for doing this, because any Mandalorian, born into it or other wise, has to go through training to make them a warrior. But mine includes being stranded on a deserted island in the middle of a lake with an enraged Minotaur on it. HELLO??? I wonder what his real name is. I don't think he minds if I call him Bob. I knew a Bob once; God, he was ugly as a mule. Well better safe than sorry, just incase I DIE on this island, "Mandalore is the one and we are the all. Everyone works!"

Mandalore, date unknown, year unknown: Being on this island makes me question the events of my life more. Why me? Why was I born? Was my birth a huge mistake, or am I able to become much more than originally though? Am I truly a Japanese/Britannian half-blood? Or am I truly a Mandalorian by birth? I don't have the same eye trait as my mother, Kallen, or that Stadtfeld pervert. Maybe I'm just over thinking it. Levitas is up to his eye balls in problems with the Universal Republic, or the U.R. as they call it. Turns out a new form of government is spawning out and is on planetary land grab. They call themselves the Federal Alliance, but they more act like group of dictators that seem to follow the same moral principals that the Britannians do. And here's Levitas in the middle trying to find some form of diplomatic reasoning. Everything is backwards now, like out there is the real world and back on earth is the dream.

Mandalore, April 10th, 2341: Lara had the babies when I was away, twins to be exact. Mace and Gemia-Su Wynne. I'm actually amazed that she was able to have kids considering the fact she was a different species then Aaron. So anything I learned in advanced biology and mating has now been thrown out the window. But now looking at these new borns' it just makes me wonder, what does it mean to be Mandalorian? To devote yourself utterly to a set of moral principles. To seek a stillness of your mind. And to master the ways and art of war. I don't really know why, but see them just reminds me of when I first held Kallen in my arms. She was beautiful, but at first I hated her. She just reminded me to much of that Stadtfeld bastard and what he did to my mother…of course that's how I was born…go figure. But then she grabbed my fingerer, and then I remembered she was born without sin and I'll always love her.

Mandalore, April 21th, 2341: The Mandalorian language is finally starting to grow on me. The Mandalorians speak multiple languages (like english, french, japanese, and so forth in order to do business throughout the universe), but their native tongue happens to be something called Mando'a. It mostly head talking, but occasionally you get the one or two throat words. It's structure, sentence wise, goes subject-verb-object word order. Like "Copaani mirshmure'cye, vod?" which means "Are you looking for a slap in the face, mate?". "Verd ori'shya beskar'gam.", meaning "A warrior is more than (his) armor.". Or "Ke nu jurkad sha Mando'ade, burc'ya!", meaning "Don't mess with Mandos, mate!"

Mandalore, May 3, 2341: This marks the longest I've stayed in one place since I left earth at 17. There is so much here I will never understand. I've never been a church going man, and what I've seen on the field of battle has led me to question God's purpose. But there is indeed something spiritual in this place. And though it may forever be obscure to me, I cannot but be aware of its power. I do know that it is here that I've known my first untroubled sleep in many years. I leave tomorrow to fight in this war that I willingly joined. Lara was concerned, Aaron was proud that I joined willingly, Anthony is out fighting, and Levitas was trying to hold the U.R. together.

Mandalore, May 31st, 2341: The first battle for me felt like a baptism by fire. The Federalists were bold by declaring their secession during a congressional meeting, but attacking Keldabe was another thing. By the time they landed on Mandalore, whatever shock we'd felt at the destruction of Central had been replaced by anger. For months Aaron treated the Fed's like a disobedient child, only to be repaid for his tolerance with treachery on an unimaginable scale. Frankly, I don't remember much of the fighting. I guess we won. All that mattered to me was that Aaron, Lara-Su, and the twins were alright. After the battle, the surviving members of the 31st finally caught their breath. Mandalore had taken the Fed's best shot and come up standing. Now it was our turn to strike.

Io, June 4, 2341: My first day as an official member of the 31st... It was hot, volcanic, and chaotic. Nothing at all like the simulations on Mandalore. Of course that's pretty much the way it was for all of us, wasn't it? All that training, all those years of preparation... it doesn't really prepare you for the all the screaming, all the blood, does it? Frankly I'm amazed we ever made it past the first hour, never mind the first day. Incredibly, the 31st survived the crucible of Io, emerging battle-hardened, and ready for whatever the war would throw at us.

Over orbit Lupus, March, 2342: As the Civil War progressed, more and more ground-based legions found themselves pressed into space combat, including the fighting forces of the 31st. For months, every hour of our downtime was spent in the simulator, preparing for the time we would face our enemies from the cockpit of an 18-Eagle. Finally the day came to earn our wings. When the Federalists' invasion of Lupus caught the Republic flatfooted, a detachment of the 31st was sent in to stop the bleeding until reinforcements could arrive. It was a textbook suicide mission and we knew it. As we fought our way into Lupus's atmosphere, most of us believed that the only way we'd be getting off this planet was in a body bag. As the 31st finally broke through the Fed blockade over Lupus, I took a long look back at the battle that continued to rage over the planet, and wondered why so many had to die for a bunch of walking carpets. Then I followed my orders, and turned planet ward.

Lupus, March, 2342: When we arrived on Lupus, things were just as bad as we'd feared. The Feds had us outgunned, outmaneuvered, and outmanned by a five-to-one margin. What none of us had counted on was the Imakandi-Songye, also known as the Wolf-people. We'd all heard the stories, of course, but we'd never fought next to them, and never seen them rip apart Fed clunkers with their bare hands. They were magnificent. Master hunters, heightened senses, enhanced speed, weapons experts, enhanced agility, and enhanced reflexes. Even so it was still a suicide mission… Falco was getting tired of fighting…almost.

Saturn, July 4, 2345: Officially, there never was a battle on Saturn. Unofficially, that was a load of grade-A bullshit. Why? Because after a Fed battle ship, with one brigade on it, was able to hopscotch from the speck of dirt Pan all the way to Saturn. There I saw our generals at full power against them. Turns out the general to that Fed brigade cause both Vince and Kin a great deal of pain in the past. With them, don't ask questions just follow the plan or you could have your ass burned…literally.

Marcoh Base, Saturn, July 5, 2345: On Saturn, it is hard to have peace and quiet. Saturn's atmospheric environment is one of strong gravity, high pressure, strong winds, from 225 miles per hour to 1000 miles per hour, and cold temperatures of -270 degrees to +80 degrees. And if that's not something it has three damn cloud layers, made out of ammonia, ammonia hydrosulfide, and water. One of hose huge droplets almost hit one of the reactors while the shields were down. If fixing that wasn't bad enough, Havox has been having nightmares lately. If he comes to me tired then that hurts his work and then hurts me. He doesn't talk about it, but the only thing I can think of is because he has terrible luck with women; which Falco and Akisu constantly bet against him. Aaron used to tell me that a warrior only has nightmares when he is ashamed of what he has done. Turns out, Havox was a turn coat when he fought in the former Noble Army. He was caught in a bloody civil war with the people Icca after they wouldn't pay the unjust taxes. In the texts books it said that it was caused by a Major _accidentally _shooting a child during a home inspection. But I have the best text book around, and he's not talking

Deimos, September 31st, 2345: Now I first thought learning space combat was hard; nothing could prepare me for Mech battles that we got mixed into with the Fighting Mechanics' of General Shank Rall. Apparently, Rall used to be an honorary Britannian and actually helped build the first generation of Knightmares. Something must have happened to have him change sides. What separates Britannian Knightmares from Mandalorian Mechs is that they work with the body to make them more flexible also instead of mass producing them; they are all costumed made. It's like having a bigger, more metallic, warrior on the battle field. And the fighting Mechanics are just astounding. Able to jump on to an enemy Mech and destroy it screw by screw… but we needed more than that on Deimos. There was no way I was going to allow them to take Mars. If they did, then they would have a foothold to Earth and I wasn't going to allow that to happen. The gun that came with mine, I found useless at first. So I bashed my way through…and do to that I'm not getting paid for three months. After four weeks, we were able to push them out…but I fear the worse of the war is coming far too soon.

Omega base, Solitudo, October 15th, 2345: I didn't think it was humanly possible but to think a planet that was hotter than the two generals mating in a boiler room on Io actually existed. This planet has two suns and three moons and is nothing but sand. This becomes a pain during shooting practice. I was transferred into Anthony's 182nd for this job along with Major Adam Ada. A former Knight of the Round, he changed sides and is good for a laugh. The only problem with him is that he is too proud about his love life, and honestly I don't want to listen to which ever new move to the Kama Sutra he and his wife tried. But then again being on a planet with two suns, and the only eye candy being Anthony's fiancé, that's the best thing to listen to. But in Adams case, this word of advise that I learned in movies and novels all the time: Soldiers who go on and on…and on…about their family and loved ones have a high probability of getting killed first.

Orbit Jupiter, November 5th, 2345: Once it was finally finished, the Hurricane prison was the U.R's favorite toy. It was also the most boring assignment in the galaxy for a Mandalorian warrior. Tedious inspection drills, endless hours of guarding impregnable force field generators. Things got so bad that when a prison break erupted in the cellblock, we were almost happy to have someone shooting at us again. If only we had known what an embarrassing snipestorm we were about to wade into, we probably would have jettisoned the whole detention block into space. Then again, our prisoners were just pieces of the embarrassment of the prison break, Aaron removed us from our comfortable billet, and began dragging the 31st across the galaxy, in a dangerous hunt for the new bomb plans that the Fed's cooked up. Ironically, our punishment eventually proved to be our salvation. The poor U.R. souls who took our place in the detention area were completely wiped out when the Hurricane blew up do to said bomb.

Kalevala, December 25th, 2345- Hero's: What does it mean to be a Hero? To save countless of your own people at the risk of your own life? Or to kill an infinite number of your enemy to win the battle? The U.R and Mandalorians have their share, I included, but the Feds have their own. Case in point Dex Baron. Before he willingly traded his ARC-95 in for a 13-Hawk, he was the ace among aces in the Federalist army. His right eye was scarred out when he was a child during the fable Iccain rebellion. We only met once as enemies but we became good friends as allies. We were in the in the middle of our Christmas party when I got my orders that Dex was flying dangerously close to the capital, Duegbaria. All I really wanted to do was shoot that bastard out of the air so I could get back to the party. Of course I didn't expect the intense dog fight that followed soon after. Both of our Gatling guns were roaring out plasma round after plasma round. After an hour, the cold of the night took its toll on our guns and caused them to jam up. With our guns out of order and our cockpits broken and open, we made circles in the skies around one another. Suddenly, out of no where, a bottle of fine wine landed inside my Hawk as the clock tower below struck midnight. On a mega-phone he yelled out: "Marry Christmas my friend!" he then flew off to his base and that was the last I saw of him until he switched sides.

Orbit Io, January 1st, 2346: Although the battle for Io was over, some people never seem to get the message. The worst case of denial was Haden Karzi; a Makelian Federal who'd somehow escaped his captors three days before court trail. Aaron tracked him to Io and brought us in to finish the job. It seemed like a simple enough mission, but when we saw the fleet of droid ships, hovering over the planet, we suddenly realized that Karzi's denial mechanisms were more dangerous than we'd imagined. The slight whiff of nostalgia the 31st had enjoyed fighting the droid fleet over Io had already grown sour by the time we'd established orbital positions. Now it was time to find out what this was all about.

Io, January 1st, 2346: By the time we'd made our way to the molten surface of Io, it was apparent that Karzi had been a busy little bug. All by his lonesome, he'd found a previously hidden droid factory, fired it up and cranked out his own private army of battle droids. Needless to say, this got the men of the 31st a little hot under the helmet, and not just because of all that lava. Truth be told we'd all had our fill of those gear heads during the fist time we were here, and we couldn't stomach the thought of going through another one. So we blew them up. Blew up the droids, blew up the factory, damn near blew up the planet. I think we made the atmosphere here thicker with those fireworks. Happy New Year.

Titan, February 9th, 2347: It's been said that the 31st got the best of the war. We also got the worst. On Titan, the Feds dug their metal heels into the muck of that alien hellhole and dared the U.R to come in after them… So we did, only to be met with the month after month of flesh-eating diseases, shrieking nocturnal predators, methane rain that ate away at our armor, illuminated petrified forests that would keep people up form months on end, and other sights that haunt me to this day. Cut off and for all we knew abandoned by our superiors, do to the campaign on Neptune, our only hope was Keilara Santorini, our commander. Without her iron will, none of us would have come out of that mess with our lives, or our sanity. This is where I cemented the other members of Vertigo. Akisu Touzoku, gifted at communication and demolition, also he sees me as an older brother. Fishgil "Falco" Falconii, walking psychopathic data base with a memory as sharp as his blades. Maec Havox, great name with even better with even better sniping skills, able to pin down a fly from two miles away and not kill it. When the 31st was finally rotated out of Titan, Keilara made a point of seeing me off personally; calling me one of the bravest warriors she had ever seen. It's a good thing I was wearing my helmet helmets, because I could bear to look her in the eye without going into cardiac arrest. Problem is she got hit by a sniper bullet before I left and I chose to stay.

Sonic base, Titan, February 14th, 2347: I'm not known to be a romanticist and I don't believe in the hallmark fairy tale out the ass of love at the first sight. Although, for some reason, while Keilara slept and recovered in her hospital bed; I spent every second of my furlough by her side. That cowardous clunker sniper got her in the back as she was coming out of a hot spring. The doctor said that the bullet was awfully close to her spine, but they got it out. She should be up in a matter of days. At first I felt like owed it to her considering she saved my ass more than once during the entire campaign. Her face was pale do to the amount of blood she lost, but her heart monitor was steady. Almost a deathly calm to it, then again I was never calm around hospitals. She finally woke up around midnight on the twelfth. And ever since then she's been giving the doctors trouble, because she can't hold still for five seconds. I still don't know why, but I feel very connected to her for reason. I wonder if she also feels it.

Orbit Japvin V, March 15th, 2348: When the Hurricane prison was destroyed; about half of the 31st Legion was still in the hangar getting to their ships. Of those who made it out, another third were caught in the explosion. I'd fought with some of those men for over five years. Afterwards, those of us that survived hooked up with a nearby Republic fleet making a retaliatory strike on the Fed's base on Japvin V. It wasn't the best thought out plan, but we were cut off from our leaders, tired, and operating on instinct. If not for our training, we probably would've never gotten past their orbital defenses. And so the battle over Japvin came to an end. I'm told we destroyed hundreds of Fed ships that day. Even if it had been thousands, it wouldn't have made up for the Hurricane. Although I can be glad, Dex was stationed some where else.

Japvin V, March 28th, 2348: By the time we landed on Japvin, whatever shock we'd felt at the destruction of the Hurricane had been replaced by grade-A, 100%, rage. I don't quite remember the entire battle all together. The only thing I do is that I was the first one to rush in, and I'm glad I did because I tore down everything in my sights. In our bones, we knew the war was almost over. The Galaxy held its breath, waiting to see which side would make the final daring move. As fortune would have it, the Universal Republic moved first. After the battle, the thick forest was replaced with burned cinders and destroyed clunkers. Later I became weakly ill do to the amount of stress. But it wasn't all bad, Keilara was my personal nurse, and I highly doubt it was payback…He-he-he.

Medius Nusquam, April 12, 2348: By the time of the raid on Medius Nusquam, the warriors of the 31st were starting to get a little sick of this so called "Federation". In the past, we'd secretly enjoyed putting down an army of clunkers or two. They kept the troops sharp, but these Feds were different. They were organized, they were growing, and they were everywhere. The raid on Medius Nusquam was a perfect example of how things were starting to fall apart. We were supposed to go in, wipe out a small band of Feds, and recover some stolen Imperial plans on an encrypted holodisk. Before we knew it, we were nearly overrun by Federal Cyborgs, with the holodisk nowhere to be found. Even though the Medius Nusquam raid was only a partial success, we finally had a lead on the whereabouts for their last main base of operation, which suited the 31st just fine.

Charon, August 20th, 2349: One on my best birth days yet. I finally proposed to Keilara and she said yes. This was also our last battle with the Feds and that's where I proposed. Nothing screams out romance like sharing a deep passionate kiss with your love while you point your gun into a clunkers stomach and she's pointing hers at another ones head. No one complained about the cold on Chiron. We never felt it. Even though we were blinded by blizzards, we could see the final end of the Feds in our blaster sights. Was it only a mirage? Perhaps. But on that day, on that planet, our blood ran hot with dreams of victory, melting the ice that stood in our way. As the Rebels fled, the 31st gathered around a burning bunker and let out a cheer that shook the stars. The Federal Dictators were done; the U.R was being rebuilt, bigger than ever. Order had finally returned to the Galaxy, in no small part due to the efforts of the fighting men of the 31st. Ke nu jurkad sha Mando'ade, burc'ya! OORAH!!!

Mandalore, September 31st, 2349: On the four year anniversary of Deimos, we come back home. Least this god forsaken war ended finally. My squad must have partied for five days straight. But the nightmares will probably never leave me, no matter how much festivity I consume. What we had to do to finally win was revolting. It's a good thing that we had our code of honor to stand behind, or we could've lost to the Feds on Phobos, Charon, Io, Deimos, and epically the horrors on Titan. Those events will haunt me forever. But it's a happy occasion, and command just gave us an honorable dismissed, meaning, in Mandalorian society, that we can go back to our normal lives until we're called back into action.

Mandalore, October 4th, 2349: it's been four years since I've seen Earth and nine since I've been back on it. But these damn nightmares, I think they're trying to tell me something. In them I see Kallen as a beautiful young woman, and then I see a Japanese boy one side of her and another boy on the other side. The Japanese boy is dressed like a Britannian while the other one looks like young teen version of Aaron. And they are both playing tug-of-war with Kallen. When I rush in to help her, I wake-up. So I'm going back to see what can be done.


	2. Lost Pages

**Naoto's Journal- The Lost Pages.**

Marcoh Base, Saturn, July 7, 2345: Besides the full body armor, which ways a good twenty pounds, we also have to carry our own equipment- no duh. The things we carried were largely determined by necessity. Among the necessities or near-necessities were P-45 mosquito repellent, chewing gum, candy, cigarettes, salt tablets, U.R. army ration (which we swear could kill us alone), lighters, matches, medical kit, Military Payment Certificates, packets of Instant-Juice, playing cards, and two or three canteens of water. Together, these items weigh up between 12 and 18 pounds, depending upon a person's habit's or rate of metabolism. Galven Creel, big guy, carried extra rations; he was especially fond of canned peaches in heavy syrup over pound cake. Aja Cynthisa, who practiced in field hygiene, carried a toothbrush, dental floss, and several hotel-sized bars of soap she'd stole from any hotel we stayed at. Gatts Numarkus, who was scared, carried tranquilizers until he was shot in the head outside a town call Ten Mui Tu in mid-April. By necessity, and because it was SOP, we all had to wear Mandalore iron helmets that would cover our entire head. These would way about 5 pounds, and the first time wearing it I had a slight claustro attack. On our furloughs, we always, meaning women as well, standard fatigue jackets and trousers. Very few of us would carry, hell even wear, underwear. A guy named Jalek Barakis used to carry three pairs of extra socks and a can of Golden Strong foot powder to keep out trench foot. Aja Cynthisa would carry 6 or 7 ounces of premium dope, which for her was necessity. Said something about helping her ignore the pain. To me, it just irrated my scenes. Antar Rigel, the RTO, carried condoms. Akisu would always carry around comic books. Havox, a devout catholic (I didn't know that they existed), would always pray on a string of Rosary beads which he would wrap around the barrel of his gun. In bad times, he would always say a pair before he he shot and he also had his grandfathers old hunting hatchet. As a first lieutenant and platoon leader, I would carry a compass, mapping systems, code books, enhanced binoculars, and a Jakob .45 cal. revolver that weighed 3.9 pound fully loaded. I also carried the little toy carved Samurai charm that Lara made for me the day I shipped out. She said that she put a charm on it so I would come back in one piece, and so far it has worked. I tied it to the end of my sword chainsaw hybrid, the "Houzukimaru" which weighed about fifteen pounds. But I'm also responsible for the lives of the people. As an RTO, Radio Telephone Operator for those who don't know army talk, Antar Rigel would carry the PRC-25 radio, a killer, 26 pounds with its battery. Our medic, Transhiva Nartano, who carry around morphine, plasma, malaria tablets, cloth bandages, surgical tape and what ever comic books she could sneak from Akisu. Total weight nearly 18 pounds. The only thing I couldn't understand is where could she put all of this stuff? Galven Creel, the big guy, hell big guys in general, would carry H-32 Machine gun, which weighed 23 pounds unloaded, but which was almost always loaded. In addition, Creel would carry between 10 to 15 pounds of ammo draped in a belt across his chest and shoulders. For the grunts, the PFC or CPL's, most of them will carry the standard ToraTora M-17 gas-operated assault rifle. The weapon weighed 7.5 pounds unloaded, 8.2 punds with it's full 20-round magazine. When it ever available to them, they also carried M-17 maintenance gear: rods, steel brushes, swabs, tubes of LSA oil, all which weighed about a pound. Among the grunts, some would carry the Monev Seal's Grenade Launcher, 5.9 pound unloaded, a reasonable light weapon... except for the ammo, which is very heavy. A single round weighs about 10 ounces. The typical load was 25 rounds. So do the math. We carried all what we can bear, and then some, including a silent awe for the power of the things we carry. We were afraid of dying but even more afraid to show it. We carry all the emotional baggage of people who might die. Grief, terror, love, longing — these were intangibles, but the intangibles had our own mass and specific gravity, we have tangible weight. We carry the warrior's greatest fear, which was the fear of blushing. Warrior kill, and die, because we are embarrassed not to.

Deimos, October 3rd, 2345: During this war, we fought our share of mechanical life. But we would also have to fight our share of organic life. One man I killed... ... His jaw was in his throat, his up lip and teeth were gone, his one eye was shut, his other eye was shaped like a star-shaped hole, his nose was undamaged, there was a slight tear at the lobe of one ear, his clean black hair was swept upward into a cowlick, at the rear of the skull, his forehead was lightly freckled, his fingernails were clean, the skin at his left cheek was peeled back in three ragged strips, his right cheek was smooth and hairless, there was a butterfly on his chin, his neck was open to the spinal cord and the blood there was thick and shiny and it was this wound that had killed him. He lay face-up in the center of the trail, a slim, dead, almost dainty young man. He had bony legs, a narrow waist, long shapely fingers. His chest was sunken and poorly muscled- a scholar, maybe. His wrists were the wrists of a child. he wore a black shirt, black pajama pants, a gray ammo belt, a gold ring on his third finger of his right hand. His rubber sandals had been blown off. One lay beside him, the other a few meters up the trail. He was probably married, or was going to be after he finished school. Coming from his appearence, I can say that he was from one of the metropolis cities within the Federalists' inner circle of planets. Havox said, "Talk."

Sonic base, Titan, February 16th, 2347: The war wasn't all terror and violence. Sometimes things could almost get sweet. For instance, today a little boy with a plastic like leg. He hopped over to Keilara and asked for a chocolate- "DevilDog Number One" the kid said.- and Keilara just laughed and handed over the chocolate. They called us "DevilDogs" do to the 173rd's offensive on Jul Kufu. Said that all Mandalorian warriors were "The Dogs of the Devil.". They also call us: Leathernecks, Jarheads, Evil Pups (young Mandalorian children), they also call women warriors a BAM... if they want to carry their teeth home in their pocket. Anyways, when the boy hopped away, Keilara clucked her tongue and said, "War's a bitch." She shook her head sadly. "One leg, for Chrissake. Some poor fucker ran out of ammo." Gil Falconii, or we call him Falco, and Henry Bowker always play checkers every evening before dark. It was a ritual for them. They would dig a foxhole and get the board out and play long, silent games as the sky went to pink to purple. At times, we would stop by and watch sometimes. There was something restful about it, something orderly and reassuring. They played by a straight code. There was a winner and a loser. There were rules. Any base I ever stay at, I always find myself either bunking with, near, or with someone who know Havox. Every single night he would get out his Rosary beads and pray old christen prays in Latin. I heard "Hail Marry" and "The Lords Prayer" so many times I think my ears started to bleed. But their was something holy about it. But the war wasn't all that way. The fighting would constantly remind us.


End file.
